Common Marriage Issues – Complacency Is As Contagious As The Plague
Complacency, like many other common marital difficulties, is contagious. It’s contagious and rapidly spreads; you don’t hear or see it, and by the time you realize what’s happening, the harm has been done.
Never get complacent; marriage, like everything else in life, requires effort, nurturing the connection, and caring for your mate. If you’ve fallen into the trap of typical marital difficulties and allowed the rot to set in, but still want to rescue your marriage, my recommendation is to go back to the fundamentals.
It’s all too easy to become caught up in a daily routine, fueled by obligations, and forget what relationships are all about. With so much to do each day and no need to schedule a time to meet, relationships are often thrown to the side, viewed as something that doesn’t need attention, and allowed to bumble along.
We often neglect to make time for our partners, and when we do, it is often in the form of some snatched minutes at the end of a long, hard day when we lack the energy to demonstrate our love and appreciation for one another and are just too exhausted to have any fun.
When spouses begin to feel ignored, they often begin with a gentle reminder that they no longer feel significant, unwanted, or devalued and that another of those typical marital difficulties, boredom with the daily routine, has set in. Thus starts the rot……
It’s all too easy to dismiss their appeals, assuming they realize you love them, expecting them to comprehend your exhaustion, believing they’ll realize you’re pressed for time, and all too quickly forgetting the earliest indicators that the marriage is in jeopardy.
If you disregard the early discontent, it may seem to your spouse as a strong indicator that life is more important than they are. It won’t matter if you’re getting into trouble at work, if your children require transportation, or if other responsibilities get in the way; they’ll see this big neon sign that says, ‘you don’t love me anymore.’ If you don’t want to save your marriage, no advice, no gentle nudge, no subtle plea will help.
It is vital that regardless of what life throws at us, we demonstrate our appreciation for our partners and our relationships on a daily basis. Complacency, boredom, jealousy, a lack of trust, and even adultery may come up on us out of nowhere, and without our intervention, everything we desired, worked for, and enjoyed may fall before our very eyes.
All that is required are those simple gestures; nothing extravagant, nothing time-consuming, nothing costly; just simple and considerate tiny acts of love, respect, and care for one another. A sign that we continue to value our marriage, our connection, and the life we share.
If you want to salvage your marriage, my advice is to prioritize your partner; show them they are worthwhile and precious, and that they and their emotions come first.
Compliments should be routine, not something relegated to the past or something you think is no longer necessary. Assure your partner that you appreciate, respect, love, and adore them, and most importantly, that you want to remain with them.
Spend time together, unwinding, enjoying, and appreciating one another’s company. Never let such private moments pass you by, regardless of how difficult it is.
Make eye contact while passing, hold hands while walking, kiss each other hello and goodbye, schedule time for a hug each day, and never lose the thrill of the brief gaze and the strange caress. If you do not maintain that tie, your relationship will begin to deteriorate, and before you realize it, what was once a loving marriage will devolve into an empty shell.
Complacency is a very real and prevalent marital issue; do not believe that it will not happen to you or that you know each other so well that you do not need to make an effort. While some relationships need more effort than others, all relationships need care in order to thrive.
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